Journal
Article published by Parentree, an Indian Parenting Community,
published on Jan 29, 2009
Title:
Pregnancy - 7th month celebration (Godh Barai, Valakaapu, Seemantham,
Dohal Jevan,Baby Shower)
Website:
http://www.parentree.in/Parentree-editors/journal-685/Pregnancy---7th-month-celebration--Godh-Barai--Valakaapu--Seemantham--Dohal-Jevan-Baby-Shower-.html
The essence
of the traditional Indian celebration (unity in diversity)
India being a vast and
diverse sea of humanity has many different customs and celebrations
in different areas—Godh Bharai (North Indian Hindus), Valakaappu
(Tamil Hindus) and Seemandham (South Indian Hindus) to name a few.
Maharashtra, Gujarat, Bengal etc. also have their own twists on these
ceremonies.
The common thread in India
is to bless the expecting mom and pray for the well being of the
mother and the baby. It is the mom-to-be who is showered with
blessings and bounty - cash, clothes or even jewellery - a sort of a
“mother-to-be shower”. Also, traditionally it is attended by the
women-folk.
According to the Indian
tradition, it is considered inauspicious to buy any clothes or other
items for the baby before the baby is born (possibly because in olden
days, the percentage of babies dying during childbirth was high).
In fact when the baby is born, the baby is made to
wear old clothes of some other member of the family. The thinking is
that the material will be soft for the soft baby skin and the
positive family vibes and values will be passed to the baby.
Of course with global
influences, this is changing in many families.
Below, we describe the
variety of Indian ceremonies by giving some examples.
Godh bharai
Godh bharai is a North
Indian Hindu ceremony. It is held with more fanfare for the first
child. The literal meaning is to fill the lap. The expecting mom is
all decked up and the friends and family bless the new mom-to-be with
gifts - token cash and saree or jewellery in the case of close
relatives. Traditionally, no gifts are given for the baby—only the
mom. Everyone puts “tikka” (vermilion) on the mom’s forehead,
prays for her and the baby’s wellbeing, followed by the aarti.
There is also “mehendi” (henna), playful banter and singing and
dancing among the women folk. Everyone rejoices the pending arrival
of the baby.
Godh Bharai has been
dwindling over the years in most families. But now, there is a slight
revival of this ceremony with the “ethnic” in vogue again. It
seems people are looking for reasons to celebrate and party and what
better than reviving long-lost traditions.
Indian Muslim
celebration
It is somewhat similar to
godh bharai. In the 7th month of pregnancy, the mom-to-be’s
parents go to the their daughter’s / in-laws house with a lots of
sweets, food, new clothes for their pregnant daughter and son-in-law.
Some parents even gift gold to their daughters. The two families have
a get together with good food and the mom-to-be’s parents take this
as an opportunity to take their daughter to their place for the
delivery and the 40 days after the delivery. This is mainly for the
first child.
A few families give their
expecting daughters a special medicinal recipe called a “mussaffar”
made of precious and other metals prepared by a unani hakim. This is
supposed to nourish the expecting mom and even the baby in the womb
for years after the baby is born.
Valakaappu
It is essentially a social
ceremony and celebration and is popular with the Hindus of Tamil
Nadu. Similar to Godh Bharai, it is for blessing the mom-to-be and
for her and the baby’s well being. It is hosted by the mother
of the expecting lady on an auspicious day. It literally means
bangles and bracelets. The new mom-to-be is decked up in her finery.
The women put bangles on the mom-to-be’s hands for her protection -
some of these have to be worn till labour starts. The women folk sing
hymns and songs and put vermilion or “haldi-kumkum” on the
expecting mom’s forehead (to ward off the evil eye) and there is
aarati. They say that the songs are for the benefit of both the
mom-to-be and the baby. Everyone gives gifts to the mom-to-be and
there is playful banter and a traditional feast.
Seemandham or
Seemantham
Seemantham is a religious
ceremony performed by most south Indian Hindus. It is performed to
protect and nurture the mom-to-be and the baby in her womb. It is
typically hosted by the in-laws of the new mom-to-be on an auspicious
day selected by a priest. It can be a long couple of hours affair -
chanting of mantras, hymns, a homa / havan (sacrificial fire
ceremony) by the priest. The dad-to-be is also involved.
To give you some idea of
the depth of the ceremony: There are detailed rituals. In most cases,
the priest chants mantras and a holy grass is immersed in water to
transfer medicinal and holy properties in the water. A special paste
is made with tender banyan leaves. This is poured into the right
nostril of the pregnant mom with a silk cloth. After this, a
porcupine quill is scratched lightly from mom’s head towards the
navel. The idea is that the holy paste can travel from the nostril to
the womb. Then the holy water is poured on the mom-to-be. It is said
that this is beneficial for both the mom-to-be and the baby in her
womb. Of course, the ceremony is followed by a traditional feast.
A combined
Seemandham and Valakaappu (being practical)
These days, many South
Indian Hindus opt for a combined Seemandham and Valakaappu. This is
more practical and easier for both the hosts and the guests. In this
case, the combined ceremony needs to be held in the 8th month (even
numbered months). Typically, the more playful Valakaappu follows the
more religious Seemandham.
Maharashtran “Dohal
Jevan”
“Dohal Jevan”
literally means to satisfy the food cravings of the pregnant woman.
This ceremony is rooted in the Seemantham and is essentially for
soothing, nurturing and protecting the mother and the baby. The
underlying idea is that the baby in the womb imbibes a lot
through the mother’s feelings, thoughts and experiences. The mother
is made to wear a soothing colour like green, is adorned with flowers
and the women-folk regale her by singing soothing songs. Everyone
blesses her with love and presents for herself (similar to Godh
Bharai) and there are also many games that the women folk play akin
to modern day baby showers. Some popular games are based on guessing
the gender of the baby.
These days, theme Dohal
Jevan is getting popular. For example, colour themes, moonlight
theme, flower theme etc.
So, what is a baby
shower?
Baby showers are very
popular in the United States. Friends and family come and “shower”
the new mom-to-be with gifts for the baby - a very practical way to
help a couple gear up (from baby clothes to a pram) for the new baby
and of course to pamper the mom-to-be. Here is how it is celebrated:
Baby showers are typically for first time moms or
moms who are having a baby after a few years gap - the motive is
that these folks would not have any baby stuff. But there is no hard
and fast rule as such about this.
Many couples in the United States do what is
called a baby registry. This involves parents listing the baby stuff
they want (clothe gear like pram, cradle, toys etc.) at a particular
shop and guests will know what to get them. As guests keep selecting
the gifts, those items keep getting eliminated from the list. Voila!
After the shower, the dad and mom are pretty much set with baby
shopping.
Traditionally, only women would attend. But now
couples shower are getting popular with the dads being more
involved.
Traditionally, to be held in the 7th or 9th month
(odd months for luck). But 7th month is most popular. But these
days, folks are flexible and have in the 8th month as well. Another
reason to have in the 7th month is practical: so that you can take
stock of the baby shower gifts and have time to get what might be
needed.
The shower can be a surprise or a planned one. It
is hosted by a close friend / relative. Sometimes, the dad-to-be
also hosts it. In fact a side trend is the expecting couple giving
their own baby shower to their friends / family. Sort of sharing
with them and a last hooray before the baby.
There are snacks / food and fun games. Some
popular games to give you an idea are
Guessing the mom’s girth. Everyone gets a
thread and has to guess how big the mom’s belly is. Of course,
the person who guesses the closest is the winner.
Baby item memory game. A bunch of baby items
(nappies, clothes, baby lotion etc. etc.) are placed on a tray and
taken away soon. Folks have to remember the items on the tray.
Many will open the baby shower gifts with the
guests around. Of course there are many “oohs and aahhs” and
teasing with the womenfolk looking at the cute baby stuff.
Typically, the
mom-to-be will send out thank you notes after the baby shower.
Some modern
day trends in India (retaining, adapting and celebrating)
With the influx of
foreign-returned Indians and globalization, American style baby
shower are catching on in certain circles. Also, with disposable
incomes rising, trend of nuclear families, many urban parents are
flocking to buy the best of baby and kiddie products. And welcome
this concept of baby showers.
Tip for mom-to-be -
Whatever the celebration, make sure you get adequate rest before the
event. Now relax and have fun. You deserve this special time.
*****************
Punjab Culture:
The
first Lohri celebrated by a new bride or a newborn represents a grand
occasion and immediate family members are invited for feast and
exchange of gifts. Once the party is over, Lohri is celebrated with
traditional dancing and singing around the bonfire. Lohri pampers
women and children. This is particularly a happy occasion for the
couples who for the first time celebrated Lohri after their marriage
and also first Lohri of a new born child either a girl or a boy in a
family. Link: http://www.lohrifestival.org/
The rituals and celebrations associated with Lohri
are only symbolic of a common thanksgiving to nature as represented
by the Sun god, and in the process, the festivities embody a spirit
of brotherhood, unity and gratitude, with family reunions and
merrymaking generating a lot of happiness, goodwill and cheer. It is
also the one day when the womenfolk and children get attention. The
first Lohri of a bride is extremely important. The first Lohri of a
newborn baby, whether a girl or a boy, is also equally important.
Children go from door to door singing and asking for the Lohri
prasad.
Link: http://www.lohrifestival.org/how-to-celebrate-lohri.html
Want to add more
information?
India is a land of
diversity. We have only covered some of the ceremonies in India. If
you would like to tell us about the ceremony that is practiced in
your region or culture or tradition, write about it. We will take a
summary of it and add it to this website. We would love to read about
more ceremonies and traditions. Submit your article to
smi@sweetmotherinternational.org
